LillaHindsight
November 24th 2006 17:29
They say hindsight is 20/20 if that is the case then I have the best eyesight in the world at this point.
Talking with a friend today I told her that she needed to make a point of finishing school and having options for herself even if she is married to a service member that makes a good living. To her benefit he is 100% behind her getting her education. I realized while speaking with her that the biggest mistake I made during my husband's deployment was I was busy trying to take care of everyone but myself. I kept myself insanely busy to the point that I simply could not go anymore.
For a year, I put myself and much of my identity aside and became nothing more than the wife of a deployed soldier. I was the go to person when someone needed anything done and there was always something, I was the person that people called when they wanted information or simply because they were having a bad day. Very seldom would I turn and ask someone else for a bit of support for myself. I was the positive attitude person who was falling to pieces bit by bit inside. I did have a few people I could talk with but I didn't want anyone to worry so I seldom actually allowed much of what I was feeling out in the open.
Looking back, I can see why I went to pieces after my husband came home. In many ways, I had lost myself, I had also forgotten to take care of myself. In many ways it was easier to take care of other than to take five minutes and admit I was tired or afraid and it came back to bite me at a time that I really needed the strength so many kept telling me that I had.
I can't emphasize enough to those who are left behind. yes, focus on your loved one but remember that your loved one also wants you to take care of yourself as well.
Talking with a friend today I told her that she needed to make a point of finishing school and having options for herself even if she is married to a service member that makes a good living. To her benefit he is 100% behind her getting her education. I realized while speaking with her that the biggest mistake I made during my husband's deployment was I was busy trying to take care of everyone but myself. I kept myself insanely busy to the point that I simply could not go anymore.
For a year, I put myself and much of my identity aside and became nothing more than the wife of a deployed soldier. I was the go to person when someone needed anything done and there was always something, I was the person that people called when they wanted information or simply because they were having a bad day. Very seldom would I turn and ask someone else for a bit of support for myself. I was the positive attitude person who was falling to pieces bit by bit inside. I did have a few people I could talk with but I didn't want anyone to worry so I seldom actually allowed much of what I was feeling out in the open.
I can't emphasize enough to those who are left behind. yes, focus on your loved one but remember that your loved one also wants you to take care of yourself as well.
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Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
just to let you know I dropped in... and I loved this post! I love your approach.
I have housework on this morning and can't stay, but I will be bck to read more of your work...
From what I've read so far, your friend (and Family) sound like they are lucky to have you...
Lilla...
Comment by In The Wind
Take the time now. Be one of the ones who actually earned a day at the spa. Be one of the ones who actually deserves to sleep a little late.
Those things are the interest earnings off of what you put into what was soooo infinitely important...
...our Troops, their families and America as a whole.
God Bless you and some others like you I can think of from my own life.