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From The Home Front - by Lilla

 
Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast -- you also miss the sense of where you are going and why." -- Eddie Cantor

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Lilla Has Left The Building

June 28th 2009 01:21
Three reasons why.

(1) I have a real life that is waiting. In fact it will wait no longer and is threatening to leave if I don*t join it again.

(2) This was an experiment in virtuality, which probably went on way
too long, anyway.. . and

(3) Orble has declined so much since the Asexual and Homosexual
revolution came to town : who wants to visit here, where the atmosphere
is permanently set to kill or be killed. Dog eat dog. Besides it is no
longer a writers post and that is why I joined to read real writing,
[read and write poetry and discuss literature and REAL Issues in the

world; with ADULTS who can allow me freedom to express my views, without having a picture of myself posted with rude bits added!

Many of you will remember I had a stroke in March, and although this post is gone I will be writing enviroposts for a while because of so many subscribers.

To those who have read and enjoyed my posts over the years, thank you
for your support and encouragements, your comments are all copy and
pasted and will be remembered always.

For Those of you who have my email edress?

It has been a pleasure meeting you all, write to me anytime you like.

A couple of you haven*t got my eddress, I will PM you and pass it on,
just leave a comment to let me know you are interested in continuing to
communicate as ADULTS and not CHILDREN.

May you all live long and prosper, it was ~ for a while ~ FANTASTIC!!!.

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The Short Diary Of An Englishman In Australia (Hysterical)

February 19th 2009 23:04
Recently friends of mine relocated from Hobart to Innisfail, in the tropical North. I have not had time to catch up and ask how things are going, especially where the climate change is concerned (as an Enligh immigrant of some years myself), fully aware of course, that they would more than likely really feel the change; that is until this morning, when I recieved the following email from them, which totally cracked me up so much so, that I thought it worth sharing for those who can (a) relate and (b) need a good laugh.


WARNING: Does contain swear words!


August 31

Just got transferred with work from grey old London to our new home in Newman, Western Australia. Now this is a town that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by the pool yesterday. It was beautiful. I've finally found my new home. I love it here.


September 13

Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. No problem though. Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a sun-worshipper.


September 30th

Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. No more mowing lawns for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.


October 10th

The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's windy though. Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatising is taking longer than I expected.


October 15th

Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed three days of work. What a dumb thing to do! Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.


October 20th

Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat shit. I've learned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.


October 25

This wind is a bastard. It feels like a giant fuckin' blow dryer. And it's hot as hell! The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order parts from fuckin' Perth.


October 30th

The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still haven't arrived for the fuckin' aircon. Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. Bloody $800,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why the hell did I ever come here?


November 4

Finally got the ol' aircon fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 30. Stupid repairman.


November 8

If one more smart arse says 'Hot enough for you today?', I'm going to fuckin' throttle him. Fuckin' heat! By the time I get to work, the car's radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking fuckin' wet and I smell like baked cat!


November 9

Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery in the ol' car. I thought my fuckin' arse was on fire. I lost two layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and my fuckin' arse. Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat!


November 10

Weather report! It might as well be a fuckin' recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and fuckin' sunny! It's been too hot to do anything for two fuckin' months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn fuckin' place. Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the fuckin' pool. The only things that thrive in this hell-hole are the fuckin' flies. You don't dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the fuckers!


November 20th

Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 fuckin' degrees today. Now the air conditioner's gone in my car. The repair man came to fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?' My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid fucker. Fuckin' Newman! What kind of sick, demented fuckin' idiot would want to live here!


December 1

WHAT!!!! The first day of Summer!!!! You are fuckin' kidding!
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What's Extra ordinary about the new US$20 bill?

June 8th 2008 00:43
The New US$20 bill


A few days ago I received this email from a friend. I probably got it in the first place, because I do not believe in coincidences ... and make no apologies for being the LAST one to get it (if you've already seen it) ... I usually am *chuckle* ...nor that it may be bogus air-brushed magic? - in which case I'd expect you to tell me it was, give me dates, times and proof.

It occurred to me that there may be a few of you who haven't seen it yet ?...

The idea is that you take a new US$20 bill and get creative with your origami skills... fold the picture thus;




Now fold it in half and you get this;



One more fold and you have something quite alarming...



Now flip it all over and be prepared for a blast from the past;



...But wait, there's more ... look at this;



It gets even better!! 9 plus 11 = $20!!

Coincidence?

Well here's the rest of the email... you make up your own mind...(Astrologers amongst you keep in mind that the US is ruled by Gemini, the twins...)...

HISTORY MYSTERY


Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.



Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.



John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.



Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker...

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.



Creepy Huh?



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Orble Observation : 408

January 31st 2008 22:47



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Orble Observation : 407

October 27th 2007 06:42



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Orble Observation : 406

September 20th 2007 23:51



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Orble Observation 404

June 18th 2007 05:06
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Can You See What These Words Have In Common?

June 15th 2007 07:10
Give this PLENTY of thought, and don't cheat!

I am only posting this for the smart orblers okay?
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Abbot and Costello, and Microsoft?

April 14th 2007 21:59
If you have not seen Bud Abbott and Lou Costello's baseball comedy skit "Who's on First?", find it and watch it. It was done decades ago, but it is a classic and quite funny.

If these two funny men were alive today in the 21st century, their "Who's on first" might have gone something like this:
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Unabridged Medical Dictionary

April 14th 2007 10:25


THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT'S NEW, UNABRIDGED


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